Forlorn

I pretend to be strong

Yet tears are rolling

For every meeting there must be a parting

Why then do tears still roll?

I gasp

for my heart aches

This swell knows no burst

This strange power

threats to tear me asunder

I yearn for the balm to soothe

But knowing well it cannot be

For part must there be

Now i think of Grandfather

As he lay weak, spent, dying

Perhaps his heart felt the same

as mine now does?

Sons daughters grandlittleones

Farewells loneliness emptiness pain

They left taking the warmth away

I saw that tear still moist

At the corner of his eye

was that what he felt?

In time i shall heal

and this visitor shall hold no power

When he visits again as surely he will

may i feed him no more

and so too should everyone else

Lesson from the Birds

Can we live like the birds?

Can we fly away from the nest once we are able to do so without turning back for support?

I wonder! Humans are different from birds. Our homing instincts are stronger to say the least. Without the family unit, what are we?

But great men and women of the past became great teachers because they dared go where others feared.

Blessings, Curses and I love you

It is said that the most powerful form of blessings and curses are those that are delivered telepathically followed by visually. The least powerful are those done orally. The tongue burns everything.
This would provide some food for thought for those who complain that their spouses never say enough of ‘I love you’. Maybe the force of love is more powerful if it remains in the heart. Once uttered that force is burnt to ashes. Is not the love that flows from the eyes of your lover much more sweeter than plain cursory words?

Surgeons, Butchers and Karma

Ever wondered what butchers and surgeons have in common?

I read this from a book and am in no position to judge but it is good food for thought. Both butchers and surgeons are said to be meat cleavers and in some way love to feel the cutting of flesh. It quotes that some surgeons get a thrill when they cut. It further goes to say that this is a carry over of karma from a past existence. Hmmm..

Real or not, it makes one wonder about all our actions and the karma that is in constant play. All the ever present human emotions that surface with every action we make. Are they colored by lust, anger or greed? The butcher cuts for a livelihood so does the surgeon. How thick can we draw the line between what is a means of survival and what is an exorbitant fee?

Perception : Judge not that I not be judged

I had two encounters with perception, rather how I can jump to a conclusion which is totally wrong.

The first incident happened in Lumbini during the Drikung 2003 monkey year teachings. We were in the common mess ground with many local kids who came to revel in the atmosphere of the teachings as well as for some free food. I saw a fellow Malaysian lady travel companion fished into her handbag, took out a couple of coffeemate sticks and offered them to some of the local kids. She proceeded to ask the kids to rip open the packet and eat them.


I was a little shocked as the coffemate came with the airline food handout. Shocked because I could not imagine anyone eating coffeemate by pouring them into their mouths, let alone anyone thinking of offering coffeemate to kids. I believed them to be unhealthy. In fact, I was so taken aback that I remarked that it was not a good thing to do.


Know what? Later I saw this same lady opening another stick of coffemate and eating it herself. This gave me a thorough lesson in perception and unfairly judging others. If I had thought that this lady was not being very kind in giving away coffemate to kids, I was wrong in judging her. She had in all kindness offered the kids, because to her, coffemate is a treat.

Another incident happened recently. I was in Yushu, a remote town in Qinghai, where I saw four monks sitting in a street corner chanting and drumming along with a hat for offerings in front of them.


I thought this to be unbecoming of monks to ‘beg’ this way. I did not make an offering but strangely gave some to another group a short distance away.

I was left somewhat ashamed when I later learnt that recently many monks who were studying or abiding in monasteries were turned out when the Chinese government changed the rules limiting the number of monks in monasteries. Most refused to disrobe as they preferred to be monks. Some had relatives to support them while others had to look for other ways of continuing their monkhood. Thus the seeking of alms in the fashion I saw.

Once again I was too quick to pass judgment based on narrow views and ignorance.

Respect and your Child

A friend sent me an excerpt from Patrick Teoh's blog which spoke about how kids of the 50's,60's and 70's did all the wrong things which would have parents today shaking their heads. Those kids, albeit older today, are still fine.

This brought to my mind something about how children learn. Often, I meet friends show me their kids, sometimes their grandkids and what struck me most is that these kids do not say hello or call "uncle" as we were taught to. They would often act bored or just refuse to sall even when coaxed.

It is not that I want to feel good to be called "uncle" as it matters nothing to me. What I feel sad for them is that their elders did not provide them with a good foundation. They are left to learn the finer points and qualities on their own when they go out into the world. These qualities are the foundation for loving , caring, respect and humility.
Kids learn from their elders. If the parents do not stand up and greet visitors, then it is uniklely that the child will do so later in life. The child will not see that to take time to greet a visitor (or a family member returning home), even though one is busy, for example eating, is an act of courtesy and respect. Who would blame the child, if in later life, he would not as much as glance at the father when he comes home from work?

Another observation. If you want to know how your host rates you, just check how he sends you off. Does he/she let you leave on your own or are you sent to the door? If you are asking for a loan, you will notice that the front door is closed right after you are outside and before you have a chance to put on your shoes. However if you love her, you will walk her all the way to her car and wave as she drives off.

Words can be misunderstood

I met a Buddhist monk in India whom I thought was unusually quiet. There was once that he observed silence for a few years, avoiding all unnecessary speech. The reason for doing so was that he was fed up with all the misunderstanding and problems that arose as a result of too much idle chatter.

Is it not true that we are so often misunderstood? Sometimes, even the words we utter are often not what we mean. and at other times, we are perceived and judged through just our words with the real picture being lost.

Anything to learn from this? I believe there is. One is to remember the story of the big fish being hooked because he could not keep his mouth shut. Another is to hone the art of articulation which then can lead us to wearing masks and losing our identity.

Is it not better to practise mindfulness and make the maximum use of all our faculties?

Bollywood Hooray

There he was again with a lustful...sampah heiiiii...in true bollywood fashion.

Who is this guy you may ask. Well, he is our neighbourhood's regular garbage man. he always appears taking out all the garbage from the bins and stacking them by the road side for the truck that soon appears. This saves time.

But it is his cheeriness with his sampah heiii that I like. It is his way of announcing to all to bring out their gabage. He does appear to love his job for as he goes about his work, he sings bollywood songs. I like this guy. He is probably Bangladeshi or Indian.

Reminds me of the dumpling vendor in Manju Tilla Delhi who wakes all and sundry with his "sheeee....sheeee..ah..rey....!" but more of this story another time.

Identification through the Feet

Under the new rule, all irrespective of gender shall recognise each others' feet.

The new rule has its advantage. When before if you lose your head you lose your life but now if you lose your feet, you only lose your identity.

Of course there are those from the old school who would rather lose their life rather than their identity.

But in time, all will get use to the new way.

An Ode to English Plurals

A Friend sent me this. Isn't it interesting?!

An ode to English Plurals

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?


'Have a Nice Day'

Birthday Do The ShanTung Way

We all celebrate birthdays, don’t we?

In some form or other we do. The western way is to have a cake in front of you when everybody sing a song to usher in your moment and then you blow off the candle.

Maybe the blowing off of the candle is an attempt to halt the process of time and in that way we never grow old. Quite an act of denial if this is true! And actually quite self-centered. It is all about “me”.

There is one way of looking at birthdays which I like. I find the thought behind this quite meaningful. A little Confucian but still very meaningful.
When I was a young boy, there was this man who hails from Shantung province in China. On his birthday, he would sleep out side the house without blanket or pillow, braving the cold and if it rains, much worse. He says that it is their way of remembering the pains that their mothers go through in giving birth to them. It is a day for expression of gratitude. He says that in China it was much worse especially for those born in the winter months.

Care to think about this every time a candle is blown?

Statutory declarations and Testicles

Of late, Malaysians have learnt the term statutory declaration or SD in short. Well, there is another term which is a cousin to sd which is relevant to the court of law…testimony. The origin of this word?

Romans, when taking an oath before the court, to insure they were telling the truth and that their statements were accurate, they swore on their testicles.

Plight of the Tibetans

The Olympics are now well over but there are still some lasting impressions from the protest of the Tibetans. At least I hope there are. (I wrote then to the papers with the hope of generating some awareness of the plight of the Tibetans).

Now the Tibetans are more or less forgotten, swept aside by current events as all things eventually are.

This is a picture of a little boy observed sleeping in a corner of an alley just beside the road that rings the Potala in Lhasa. What struck me was the serenity of his sleep amidst the bustle of pilgrims as well as the bright colors of his dress and blanket.

Now as I look again at this image, the poignancy is not lost. As his elders ponder their grim future, he sleeps on, naïve as a child ought to be. He is older now and very soon, he will start to face his future and that of his kin. What lies ahead for him and his people?

Reiki Masters

It has been a good eleven years ago. I was one of a group of 24 who gathered at the hills of Gembrook.

What were we doing there?

We were Reiki masters in training. All in all, we spent seven full days in those hills in that chilly month of May. Seven days it was but for many it was much longer as some had arrived earlier in preparation and some stayed after to savor the after-charge. I remember one well who stayed a full one month? Of course there was one who had to stay back being unfit to fly home as a result of burns from the fire walking.

Those were seven magical days. So magical was it that we have tried to incorporate these elements of magic into our own courses. Have we succeeded? Only those along for the ride can tell.

We had fun (and stress) with games, communicated with the unseen, mesmerized by psychic surgery, confronted and even chastised by beings. There were many regressions and emotional releases. Once we cross that path of fire (literally) something snaps. I think many of us learnt a great deal about ourselves and eventually become the greatest conqueror. For that is what true mastership is all about. Sadly many miss this point.

Words cannot describe the freedom of de-inhibiting ourselves. We can only soar if we allow ourselves to.

Where are all these fellow masters now? One or two has passed on. How are the others getting along with their lives? I wonder.

Another one or two, I know have been too busy with their material lives to bother to catch up anymore. One I know who is a real tender soul may have gone back to his native Kiwi or maybe he has found the highest truth. I believe he is the one who is most likely to succeed. Déjà vu, another has remained a gem if ever there was one.

Sometimes paths cross and for those who recognize the great importance of our journey make the full use of it. May I always have the wisdom to do so.

High Cost of Healthcare

The old lady was ill with nausea. An ambulance was called and ended with her staying 4 nights in the hospital. Tests like X-rays, CT scans, ECGs, ultra sounds. The suspects were stroke, lung infections, neurological problems and specialists opinions were sought.

The bill on discharge came up to more than a $1000 a night. Nothing was badly wrong with her.

All the equipment cost money certainly but there is something wrong somewhere. Many people scratch and save and all it takes is one bout of illness and there goes the hard savings.

To the government, the young aspiring doctors, is there a thing to learn here?

I wonder too whether those doctors who have made it ever think about how they charge as they whiz around in their expensive cars and sleep in their cozy mansions knowing htat these come from those hard earned dollars of those who cannot afford their fees.

Black or White

This one says a lot.

The Chinese in South Africa were once classified as black. When the government wanted to do business with Taiwan, they were reclassified as white. After the end of apartheid rule, the chinese sued and they are now again black. ha..ha...black or white?